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Dictionary of Dating

Attraction
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

Birth Control
Avoidance of pregnancy through tactics like swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

Dating
The process of spending an enormous amount of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

Easy
A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Eye contact
A method utilized by one person to indicate interest in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking at a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located on her chest.

Friend
An acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

Indifference
A woman's feeling towards a man, which is normally interpreted by men as "playing hard-to-get".

Interesting
A word used by men to describe a woman who lets the man do all the talking.

Irritating habit
What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

Law of Relativity
How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Love at first sight
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

Nymphomaniac
A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

Sober
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

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